#I paused outside the casino and wondered if I should pop in. It was glittering at me and I could hear the soft trill of all the machines inside. There were people I liked in there and there were exciting things like cards, chips and money. But it was too close to home, my former work mates would gossip and eventually it would get back to Rae. I didn't want him to know I'd been here.
With a weary sigh I shoved my hands into my coat pockets and continued on. I missed Rae so much. It was a heart-wrenching ache that left me feeling empty but there was no way he would ever accept me back into his life.
He'd worked so hard to look after me when I had no idea who I was. He'd grown to be my best friend and the only person I thought I could trust. I understood why he wanted to stop being my doctor and pass me off to Dr. Morgan but I thought I could trust him when the memories did surface. I always knew they would be bad, that I'd be distressed and terrified of my own past. But I'd never expected him to kick me out after learning what I'd done.
I think it was my lack of remorse that threw him.
With these memories I'm a different person. I can see how I was when I knew nothing but him, his house, that stupid cat and the casino. I was happy, carefree and without the weight of such torment resting on my shoulders.
Shooting someone didn't bother me. I knew I was right doing what I did. Rae, of course, didn't think so. Regardless of the situation, to him, killing someone was wrong.
The killing didn't bother me. It was what followed that mentally scarred me. I was once again looking over my shoulder, despite the fact I was in a much safer world that had a much lower concentration of evil robots, rape gangs and temporal earthquakes.
Rae was never going to forgive me and that broke my heart.